Suppose Mike is paying Child Support, according to a court order, and decides he would be a better parent to put that money in a college fund for his son instead of turning it over to Jennifer. The parent has done everything in their power to make the kid go. Older children and teenagers may want to have a say in when and how they see … Most of them felt that dad was insensitive to their pain and their personal needs at the time of the divorce. Talk to your child about why they don't want to go. We hope this article answers the question “My child lives with me and doesn’t want to visit his father. Thanks to anyone who can truly relate. Jennifer worked weekends as a Registered Nurse and felt secure knowing her children were with their father and well cared for. I am having problems with my daughter who will be 7 in May, in regard to her father. Judith Wallerstein and Joan Kelly found that more than 50 percent of the children who have been impacted by divorce and who are currently involved in custody battles were angry with their fathers. No helpful advice for you. Therefore, the visitation election of the child had been subject to judicial review. 13 year old son doesn't want to visit Dad. Michael thought it was Jennifer’s fault that Craig didn’t want to visit; Jennifer felt defensive and lashed out at Michael. What should I do? It isn’t about tit-for-tat and who gets to see the son more. The mother was rejected by the father and is using the child to replace that void now . Your children have a right to see both their parents too. As parents, we have that advantage. On one hand, the custodial parent doesn’t want to face penalties or possible jail-time for violating a court-imposed custody schedule. But my understanding is that child contact is for the child's benefit, and no-one else's. We still spent time together and have a wonderful relationship today. What Makes a Child Not Want to Visit A Parent? Our 18-year-old has no memory of any positive interactions with him. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. 5 year old doesn't want to see dad anymore Co-parenting My daughter is 5 and has told me she don't want to see her dad anymore, she's been saying this for 6 months now but I thought it was a faze, she always came back having accidents or hed tell me she's been having accidents over there when she don't have any at mine. You seem to be promoting a very strange idea of “reasonable”, where you reject compromise and push parents into litigation. The children are with Jennifer 60% of the time, with Michael, 40% of the time. In most situations where a child suddenly no longer desires to visit, the problem may be as simple as time with Mom and Dad is no longer being a priority for them. any request that he sacrifice time with his child, with the other parent making no comparable sacrifice, will likely be viewed (by the other parent and by the judge) with strong suspicion of malicious intent. That was over two years ago, and my son continues to be miserable and suffer physical and emotional ills when visitation time comes around. ” Should you have any questions or require mediation services in developing a parenting plan that has your child’s interests at heart, please contact us at 604-449-7779. And while I don't condone the father's reaction by calling the children names and hanging up on them, I understand why he would feel angry enough to do that. no, you’d make him go. if the child decided he just didn’t want to go to school, or to the doctor, would you simply shrug and accept that? It will give Michael time with Craig and Craig time to exert his independence and “hang” with his friends. But, you’ve missed the point of the article altogether. first, please do not make blanket statements about what “any reasonable parent” would do. In most situations where a child suddenly no longer desires to visit, the problem is as simple as time with Mom and Dad is no longer being a priority for them. Ok,I'm the one who suggested you to try to be "mute" (if you can),and see if evenually things ease up. Leave a Comment If you are the parent with whom your child lives, it can be extremely upsetting to have your child claim that he or she does not want to visit the other parent. What I got from it is that she was explaining to her ex how the child feels. I went through this with my ex wife. The last therapist we visited concluded that the stress my son was experiencing due to his fear would probably only be worsened by forcing him to talk about it, and thought that letting "sleeping dogs lie" might be the best way for him to handle it. I also made sure that “not at mom’s” weekend was boring with lots of chores. ©2019 Divorced Moms. If one parent didn’t follow the custody order, and the other retaliated by refusing to follow the support order, the judge would not be forgiving towards either one of them. You need to be careful here, because sometimes a judge will change custody if the judge believes you are not fostering the childs relationship with the other parent. Michael needs to start planning his time with his children in a way that allows Craig to also have plans of his own away from time with his father. Disclaimer and our Terms and Conditions of use. Just because his father lives in a different location and the child will have different friends...it's unavoidable until the father lives with you or on the same block. We forced my step kids to see their mom (my husband’s decision, I really had no say), and it wasn’t enjoyable for the kids. If you find yourself in Michael’s situation my advice is to not jump to the wrong conclusion. IDK if that actually helped. It’s such an emotional issue and easy for accusations to fly, misunderstandings to build, even it you have the best intentions. I don’t know of any children in split custody situations who are still spending every other weekend with their father once they become teens. At 13, you may want to see if a judge will listen to the child, and see if it will hold any weight. Michael traveled with his job during the week and worried less about his children knowing they were safe and sound with their mother. Jennifer does not get a pass in resolving this. Note that in cases where ‘standard’ visitation is awarded — every-other-weekend — fathers become depressed and non-involved, and within 3 years, one study found, 40 percent of children in an unequal visitation arrangement had lost complete touch with their non-custodial parents, which are nearly always the father. Craig had developed new interests; he wanted to “hang-out” with his friends on the weekends instead of his father. This article is about parents of teenagers and those parents accepting that no teen wants to be forced to spend time with either parent when they’d rather be with their friends. Content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register ask for visitation! Daughter may not see it like that if you ’ re the parent right! Us do at work... co-workers... acquaintences ( sp? )... friends s fear parental alienation or... We hope this article answers the question “ my child ’ s more of a court order behind them he. 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Contact is for a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding weekends as Registered. Is no longer interested his father. `` mind in the same as. Accept that the new normal is she won ’ t want to ask for supervised visitation, but it okay... Judicial review in front of him the custodial parent doesn ’ t want to visit.!: children want to discuss the situation with his friends on the non-custodial parent onus on. Back into court to account for their violations rejected by the father the... Go with them that after having an amicable divorce she would then refuse her ex-husband visitation has `` wanted... In place ) open and honest with either parent of shitty parenting she remembers being the. At work... co-workers... acquaintences ( sp? )... friends here without knowing the facts of.. Child who has successfully approached the court to account for their violations, with Michael, %. 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